Just a portrait of the dark me. A reverse of a shiny and quiet man who seems to be perfect. A modelic citizen of the world, but corrupt by himself indeed... When dreams are too high to be pursued, or when patience finally shattered into pieces. Myself inside the mirror is a painful soul who deserves to be burned into a hundred hells, and even then my soul won´t be redeemed...
I don´t want to regret what I am or what I feel now... I only want to express it, and maybe in English I would feel that I have never wrote these lines. This is me... the obscure me...
I feed myself with Anger. Some kind of anger I cannot express, and devours my body as hungry bugs eating me. I want to explode and send the world to hell, but I can´t. My veins grows and absorb this feeling, just to make bigger the next one. Maybe if I could focalise my Anger my appearance would be more rude, and I would get some inner peace.. but I don´t have too much of that...
My Lust desires crawls along the brilliant and clean facade of my appearance, blackening the bricks, one by one. I like dark and the darkest things happens in my head. I let them be, and sometimes I let them happen in real world. When gets darker, gets better. Whatever is wrong, I want it in my life. Who could imagine it meeting the cleanest me, with my cutest and harmless face, hiding the very nasty man of this town.
Envy poisons my blood, taintening in black, obscure seas of evil seed breeding inside my body, hating the good of others and congratulating other´s misfortunes. I cannot tolerate that anyone can surpass me. I was designated to be the one who win every battle, to shine more than everyone. Maybe I´m ill with the sole idea of being the best,, but that is one of my terrible sins... Pride.
I´m so pride to be so intelligent, cult, beautiful,... I´m complete, or almost complete. I´m more complete than most of the people in many lives. My life takes a way which is special, different from others, and nobody can compare it with theirs. It´s so pathetic.... I feel sorry for them... When I take some of my time to ´help´ others I realize that I can help everybody I want: My advises always accurates, my voice makes them think and solve their little problems, my ears were meant to hear other´s situation and make them feel comfortable and relaxed with me... I´m such an oracle for them. I only receive thanks and congratulations for my words
The second terrible sin I have within is Sloth. Sloth numbs my senses, muscles and bones. My mind gets tired of doing nothing, and at the same time... excited with the idea of just pass the time doing the minimum effort... I´m so sloth... and I adore it... Just making pleasure of myself...
If Gluttonny can be accepted as a concept of be hungry of power, I´m a pathologic glutton. I just want to conquer everything, to be powerful and have everything for me. Eager to be the Boss, the one who will be acclaimed and devoted. I´m glutton of praises and admiration of everyone who meets me. I desire to be reverenciated and appreciated, to be loved and envied by all. I´m salivating just with the idea...
This cartooned me is the worst image built me ever made.
I´m a poor sloth man who eagers to be powerful and praised, to gain all the power I can just to demonstrate the world I´m best than them. While I get this objective accomplished I don´t do anything to built myself up. I´m too sloth to do it, so I distract myself with lust and nasty entertainment just to pass the time...
Thirst of power, belief of superiority, sloth person.... What a sad and mediocre picture of myself...
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2 comentarios:
No deberías escribir en una lengua que no dominas. Hay muchos errores gramaticales y faltas de ortografía que incluso cambian el significado semántico de lo que quieres expresar, ya que hace un conjunto de sentimientos que ni siquiera tienen sentido para un nativo de la lengua. En español mucho mejor.
Como ponía en la entrada del blog, escribir en inglés era una forma de expresar cosas que no me atrevía del todo a escribir en español.
Seguro que hay faltas gramaticales, pero no sabes lo relajado que me sentí después de haber escrito todo eso.
En cualquier caso, creo que la mejor forma de mejorar es practicar, así que aunque no sea mi lengua, este tipo de cosas ayuda siempre a mejorar.
De todas formas, muchas gracias por la crítica y por leer el blog, que siempre he pensado que no lo lee nadie ;)
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